We've all heard them. The phrases that sound wise, almost poetic, but when you really sit with them, they're just dressed-up excuses.
"In another life." "The right time will come." "If it's meant to be, it will be." "Everything happens for a reason." "What's meant for you won't pass you by." "Trust the timing of your life."
These sayings float around constantly. People post them on Instagram, whisper them to friends, tattoo them on their bodies. They get shared millions of times because they feel good. They sound deep. They let us exhale and think, Okay, I don't have to do anything. The universe has a plan.
And sure, sometimes they offer genuine comfort during genuinely hard moments—grief, loss, things truly outside our control. But let's be honest about what's really happening most of the time: these phrases are being used to avoid taking action. They're a way to feel wise while doing absolutely nothing.
I read something recently about what makes people highly effective, and it stuck with me. Because it made me realize just how much we've been sold a version of life that keeps us passive. A version that tells us waiting is a virtue, that patience means sitting still, that the right doors will magically open if we just believe hard enough.
That's not wisdom. That's a fairy tale.
The Problem with Passive Philosophy
When someone says "the right time will come," what they often really mean is: I'm scared to start now. When they say "if it's meant to be, it will be," they're really saying: I don't want to put in the effort and risk getting hurt or rejected or embarrassed.
These phrases hand over all your power to some vague idea of fate, timing, or destiny. They let you off the hook completely. You don't have to try, because hey, the universe will sort it out, right? You don't have to take the risk, because if it doesn't happen, it just "wasn't meant to be."
It's a beautiful story. But it's also a trap.
Because while you're waiting for signs and signals and perfect alignment, life is passing. Opportunities are going to people who showed up even when they weren't ready. Relationships are being built by people who had the courage to be vulnerable first. Careers are being shaped by people who started before they felt qualified.
Highly effective people understand something uncomfortable: there is no perfect time. There never was. There's only now and the choices you make with it.
How We Got Here
I think part of the problem is that we've confused passivity with peace. We've been told that surrendering to the flow of life is enlightened. That forcing things is bad. That if you have to try too hard, it's not right for you.
And there's a grain of truth in there—you shouldn't have to force yourself to be someone you're not, and you can't control everything. But that grain of truth has been twisted into an entire philosophy of inaction.
Social media made it worse. These sayings get packaged into aesthetically pleasing posts, shared by influencers, repeated until they feel like universal truths. They become the background noise of our lives. And slowly, without realizing it, we start to believe that waiting is the strategy. That our job is just to be open and ready, and life will hand us what we deserve.
But life doesn't work that way. Life rewards action far more often than it rewards waiting.
Comfort vs. Growth
Popular sayings are popular because they're comforting. They wrap inaction in something that sounds spiritual or wise. They give us permission to stay exactly where we are while feeling like we're doing something meaningful by "trusting the process."
But comfort and growth rarely live in the same place.
Growth requires you to stop waiting. To send the message even though you might get ignored. To start the project even though it might fail. To have the hard conversation even though it might end badly. To apply for the job even though you might get rejected. To say how you feel even though the other person might not feel the same.
Waiting for signs, for perfect timing, for some external permission—that's not patience. That's avoidance wearing a nice outfit.
Real patience is different. Real patience is doing the work every day even when you don't see results yet. Real patience is staying committed to a goal while accepting that progress is slow. That's patience. Sitting on your couch hoping the universe delivers your dreams to your doorstep? That's just wishful thinking.
What Effective People Actually Do
They take responsibility. Full, uncomfortable, no-excuses responsibility.
They recognize that waiting is a choice, and usually not a productive one. They ask themselves: What can I do today? What's one small step I can take right now? Not What will the universe deliver to me eventually?
They don't romanticize missed opportunities as "not meant to be." They look at them honestly. They ask what they could have done differently. They learn and they try again.
They understand that action creates clarity. You don't figure out if something is right for you by waiting and wondering and analyzing endlessly. You figure it out by doing. By trying. By getting your hands dirty and seeing what happens.
They also understand that failure isn't a sign from the universe that they're on the wrong path. Failure is just information. It's feedback. It's part of the process. The only real failure is never trying at all.
The Sayings We Should Be Sharing Instead
What if we replaced those passive phrases with ones that actually moved us forward?
- Instead of "The right time will come", how about "I'll make this the right time."
- Instead of "If it's meant to be, it will be", how about "If I want it, I'll work for it."
- Instead of "In another life", how about "In this life, starting now."
- Instead of "Everything happens for a reason", how about "I'll create meaning from whatever happens."
These aren't as soft. They don't look as good on a Pinterest board. But they put you back in the driver's seat of your own life. They remind you that you're not a passenger waiting to arrive somewhere. You're the one deciding where you go.
A Challenge
Next time you catch yourself reaching for one of those comfortable phrases, pause. Really pause. Ask yourself honestly: Am I using this as genuine wisdom, or as a shield? Am I finding real peace, or am I just avoiding something hard?
Is "the right time will come" actually true for this situation, or are you just afraid of what happens if you start now and it doesn't work out?
Is "if it's meant to be, it will be" helping you accept something truly outside your control, or is it letting you off the hook from putting in real effort?
These are uncomfortable questions. But they're important ones.
The Bottom Line
The people who build the lives they want—the careers, the relationships, the health, the experiences—aren't the ones waiting for permission from the stars. They're not scrolling through inspirational quotes hoping one will finally unlock their destiny.
They're the ones who decided that today was good enough to begin. That imperfect action beats perfect inaction. That the "right time" is a myth, and the only real moment is this one.
So whatever you've been putting off, whatever you've been waiting for the universe to greenlight, maybe it's time to stop waiting.
Maybe the sign you've been looking for is this: you're ready enough. Start anyway.